The Secret of Effective Motivation

Article by: Amy Wrzesniewski & Barry Schwartz.

THERE are two kinds of motive for engaging in any activity: internal and instrumental. If a scientist conducts research because she wants to discover important facts about the world, that’s an internal motive, since discovering facts is inherently related to the activity of research. If she conducts research because she wants to achieve scholarly renown, that’s an instrumental motive, since the relation between fame and research is not so inherent. Often, people have both internal and instrumental motives for doing what they do.

What mix of motives — internal or instrumental or both — is most conducive to success? You might suppose that a scientist motivated by a desire to discover facts and by a desire to achieve renown will do better work than a scientist motivated by just one of those desires. Surely two motives are better than one. But as we and our colleagues argue in a paper newly published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, instrumental motives are not always an asset and can actually be counterproductive to success.

We analyzed data drawn from 11,320 cadets in nine entering classes at the United States Military Academy at West Point, all of whom rated how much each of a set of motives influenced their decision to attend the academy. The motives included things like a desire to get a good job later in life (an instrumental motive) and a desire to be trained as a leader in the United States Army (an internal motive).

How did the cadets fare, years later? And how did their progress relate to their original motives for attending West Point?

We found, unsurprisingly, that the stronger their internal reasons were to attend West Point, the more likely cadets were to graduate and become commissioned officers. Also unsurprisingly, cadets with internal motives did better in the military (as evidenced by early promotion recommendations) than did those without internal motives and were also more likely to stay in the military after their five years of mandatory service — unless (and this is the surprising part) they also had strong instrumental motives.

Remarkably, cadets with strong internal and strong instrumental motives for attending West Point performed worse on every measure than did those with strong internal motives but weak instrumental ones. They were less likely to graduate, less outstanding as military officers and less committed to staying in the military.

The implications of this finding are significant. Whenever a person performs a task well, there are typically both internal and instrumental consequences. A conscientious student learns (internal) and gets good grades (instrumental). A skilled doctor cures patients (internal) and makes a good living (instrumental). But just because activities can have both internal and instrumental consequences does not mean that the people who thrive in these activities have both internal and instrumental motives.

Our study suggests that efforts should be made to structure activities so that instrumental consequences do not become motives. Helping people focus on the meaning and impact of their work, rather than on, say, the financial returns it will bring, may be the best way to improve not only the quality of their work but also — counter-intuitive though it may seem — their financial success.

There is a temptation among educators and instructors to use whatever motivational tools are available to recruit participants or improve performance. If the desire for military excellence and service to country fails to attract all the recruits that the Army needs, then perhaps appeals to “money for college,” “career training” or “seeing the world” will do the job. While this strategy may lure more recruits, it may also yield worse soldiers. Similarly, for students uninterested in learning, financial incentives for good attendance or pizza parties for high performance may prompt them to participate, but it may result in less well-educated students.

The same goes for motivating teachers themselves. We wring our hands when they “teach to the test” because we fear that it detracts from actual educating. It is possible that teachers do this because of an over reliance on accountability that transforms the instrumental consequences of good teaching (things like salary bonuses) into instrumental motives. Accountability is important, but structured crudely, it can create the very behavior (such as poor teaching) that it is designed to prevent.

Rendering an activity more attractive by emphasizing both internal and instrumental motives to engage in it is completely understandable, but it may have the unintended effect of weakening the internal motives so essential to success.

http://www.nytimes.com/2014/07/06/opinion/sunday/the-secret-of-effective-motivation.html?_r=0

Don’t Try to Manage Your Time – Manage Yourself!-By: John C. Maxwell

Don’t Try to Manage Your Time – Manage Yourself!-By: John C. Maxwell

Here’s an important announcement: There is no such thing as time management.
Think about it; the term is an oxymoron. Time cannot be managed. It cannot be controlled in any way. Everyone gets the same number of hours and minutes every day. Nobody—no matter how shrewd—can save minutes from one day to spend on another. No scientist—no matter how smart—is capable of creating new minutes. Even with all his wealth, someone like Bill Gates can’t buy additional hours for his day. And even though people talk about trying to “find time,” they need to quit looking. There isn’t any extra lying around. Twenty-four hours is the best any of us is going to get. You can’t manage your time. So what can you do?
Manage yourself! Nothing separates successful people from unsuccessful people more than how they use their time. Successful people understand that time is the most precious commodity on earth. And that we all have an equal amount, packed into identical suitcases. So even though everyone’s suitcase is the same size, they get a higher return on the contents of theirs. Why? They know what to pack.
Essayist Henry David Thoreau wrote, “It is not enough to be busy. The question is, ‘What are we busy about?’” How do you judge whether something is worthy of your time and attention? For years I used this formula to help me know the importance of a task so that I can manage myself effectively. It’s a three step process:

1. Rate the task in terms of Importance.

• Critical = 5 points
• Necessary = 4 points
• Important = 3 points
• Helpful = 2 points
• Marginal = 1 point

2. Determine the task’s urgency.

• This month = 5 points
• Next month = 4 points
• This quarter = 3 points
• Next quarter = 2 points
• End of year = 1 point

3. Multiply the rate of importance times the rate of urgency.

• Example: 5 (critical) x 4 (next month) = 20.

After assigning each task a new number, make a new to-do list. This time list everything from highest to lowest task management score. THAT’S how you plan your day. How you spend your time is an important question not only for you but for your team. People tend to take their cues from the leader when it comes to time management—so make sure there’s a match between your actions, your business priorities, and your team’s activities.
Article by: John C. Maxwell.

Live2Lead: A Chance to Serve Your People and Your Community-By: John C. Maxwell

Live2Lead: A Chance to Serve Your People and Your Community-By: John C. Maxwell

What’s your highest calling as a leader? Well, I believe it’s being a servant leader. I often teach that leaders ask the question, “Will I help people?” But servant leaders ask, “HOW will I help people?” When you’re a servant leader, you do so much more than just make people a priority. You look for specific opportunities to serve them and help them reach their potential.

In my own leadership journey, I’ve made servant leadership my goal for many years. And as my influence has increased, I’ve pursued many specific opportunities to serve those who hear me speak and read my books, so that they can grow into who they were created to be.

If you’re a leader, don’t just settle the question of IF you’ll serve others. Figure out HOW you will, and then go do it. By being a servant leader, you’ll have the joy of seeing positive outcomes and great growth in your people. It will be worth the effort.

Because of my desire to serve you, I want to make you aware of one great opportunity to serve the people under your leadership and in your community. This fall, The John Maxwell Company will host our Live2Lead event. A worldwide event, it will be broadcast live on October 9, 2015, and will be available for different hosts to either share it live or on a later date. This is where you might want to come in as a leader. Hosting a Live2Lead event in your community will offer the people you lead an amazing chance to learn and apply leadership principles to their lives.

And besides helping those who follow your leadership, hosting a Live2Lead site will allow you to offer something of great value to the people in your community. Think of the ways this could expand your network, letting you add value to people you haven’t even met yet.

This half-day event features my teaching, along with that of the following incredible leadership communicators: Patrick Lencioni, Valorie Burton, and Kevin Turner. Each speaker will deliver relevant content that will equip attendees to take next steps of growth as leaders. And at only half a day, the event lends itself to both learning and application, as people walk away prepared to implement a new action plan, so they can start leading when they get back to the office with renewed passion and commitment.

As a host, you will receive a license to either show the event live on October 9, 2015, or broadcast it at a date of your choosing (between October 16 and January 31, 2016). You will be able to use the event name (Live2Lead: [your location]) in marketing the experience, along with the association with The John Maxwell Company and me. And you will receive continuous support, from resources like our Simulcast Advisory Committee and a closed Facebook group. Plus, you’ll have all the freedom of being in charge of your event, deciding everything from the date and time, to ticket pricing, funding, and promotion.

All of this and more is available for a single flat fee. Hosting Live2Lead will give you the opportunity to grow your network, develop your people, and connect with your community. I hope you’ll join us in hosting this fall.

For more information, please go to Live2Lead Hosting and share your contact information. You will be contacted personally by one of my Live2Lead consultants, who will answer all of your questions and more about the Live2Lead experience.

Article by: John C. Maxwell.

Attract Happiness and Good Fortune- by Napoleon Hill

Attract Happiness and Good Fortune- by Napoleon Hill

Remember, every person lives in two worlds: the world of his own mental attitude, which is greatly influenced by his associates and his surroundings, and the physical world in which he must struggle for a living. The physical world in which you make a living may be beyond your control, but you can, to a great extent, shape the circumstances of your immediate physical world. It can be done by the way you relate yourself to your mental world, for your mental attitude attracts to you those aspects of the physical world which harmonize with your mental attitude. Thus, pessimism will attract misery and ill fortune. But enthusiasm, properly controlled, will attract happiness and good fortune.

Enthusiasm is a great leavening force in your mental world, for it gives power to your purpose. It helps to free your mind of negative influences and brings you peace of mind. It wakens your imagination and stirs you to shape the circumstances of your physical world to meet your own needs.

But no amount of enthusiasm can replace definiteness of purpose. A man without a definite major purpose resembles a locomotive without a track to run on, or a destination toward which to travel. And if he lacks enthusiasm to back his definite major purpose, he is like a locomotive without fuel.

Enthusiasm may be expressed in two ways: passively, through the stimulation of emotional feeling which inspires you to meditate and think in silence; and actively, by the expression of such feeling through words and deeds.

Source:  PMA Science of Success. Educational Edition. The Napoleon Hill Foundation. 1983. Pg. 250.

What Wouldst Thou Have?-by Napoleon Hill & W. Clement Stone

What Wouldst Thou Have?-by Napoleon Hill & W. Clement Stone

What wouldst thou have? “What wouldst thou have? I am ready to obey thee as thy slave—I and the other slaves of the lamp,” said the genie.

Awaken the sleeping giant within you! It is more powerful than all the genii of Aladdin’s lamp! The genii are fictional. Your sleeping giant is real.

What wouldst thou have? Love? Good health? Success? Friends? Money? A home? A car? Recognition? Peace of mind? Courage? Happiness? Or, would you make your world a better world in which to live? The sleeping giant within you has the power to bring your wishes into reality.

What wouldst thou have? Name it and it’s yours. Awaken the sleeping giant within you! How?

Think. Think with a positive mental attitude.

Now the sleeping giant, like the genie, must be summoned with magic. But you possess this magic. The magic is your talisman, with the symbols PMA on one side and NMA on the other. The characteristics of PMA are the plus characteristics symbolized by such words as faith, hope, honesty, and love.

Source:  Success Through A Positive Mental Attitude. Napoleon Hill & W. Clement Stone. Prentice-Hall, Inc. 1960. Pgs.234-235.

What Successful People Know About Winning-by: John C. Maxwell (Part #2/2)

What Successful People Know About Winning-by: John C. Maxwell (Part #2/2)

3. Losses Create a Gap between I Should and I Did

Winning creates a positive cycle in our lives. When we win, we gain confidence. The more confidence we have, the more likely we are to take action when it’s needed. That inclination to move from knowing to acting often brings success.

However, losing can also create a cycle in our lives—a negative one. Losses, especially when they pile up, can lead to insecurity. When we are insecure, we doubt ourselves. It causes us to hesitate when making decisions. Even if we know what we should do, we are reluctant to do it. When such a gap is created and isn’t overcome, success becomes nearly impossible. If we want to be successful, we need to bridge that gap.

4. The First Loss Often Isn’t the Biggest Loss

When we experience a loss, we have a choice. If we immediately respond to it the right way, the loss becomes smaller to us. However, if we respond the wrong way, or if we fail to respond at all, that loss becomes greater. And it often leads to other losses. As the subsequent losses come at us, they seem to become bigger and bigger, crashing over us like waves in a violent storm. As the number of losses goes up, our self-confidence goes down.

We make matters worse when we compare ourselves to others, because we rarely do so on a level playing field. We either compare our best, including our good intentions, to someone else’s worst, or we compare our worst to someone else’s best. That can lead to a negative cycle of self-talk. And the more negative it becomes, the larger our losses appear to be to us. If our self-talk is angry, destructive, or guilt producing, we become even less capable of breaking free of the negative cycle.

If we can overcome an early loss and not let it become magnified, that can help us move forward. That’s not always easy to do, but even someone who has faced a very great loss can learn to do it.

5. Losses Never Leave Us the Same

The number or severity of your losses isn’t as important as how you experience those losses. Yes, all losses hurt. And they make an impact on us, an impact that is rarely positive. Losses change us. But we must not allow them to control us. We can’t let the fear of looking silly or incompetent paralyze us. We can’t let the fear of negative consequences keep us from taking risks. Allowing negative experiences of the past to warp your future is like living in a coffin. It puts a lid on you and can end your life.

How does one minimize the negative damage of debilitating losses? First, by letting them go emotionally. If we want to overcome adversity and keep from being defeated by our losses, we need to get past them. And then we need to learn from them!

Successful People Turn a Loss into a Gain

If you’re going to lose—and you are because everyone does—then why not turn it into a gain? How do you do that? By learning from it. A loss isn’t totally a loss if you learn something as a result of it. Your losses can come to define you if you let them. If you stay where a loss leaves you, then eventually you can get stuck there. But you can choose to change, grow, and learn from your losses.

That, of course, is not necessarily easy. A loss doesn’t turn into a lesson unless we work hard to make it so. Losing gives us an opportunity to learn, but many people do not seize it. And when they don’t, losing really hurts.

Learning is not easy during down times, because it requires us to do things that are not natural. It is hard to smile when we are not happy. It is difficult to respond positively when numb with defeat. It takes discipline to do the right thing when everything is going wrong. How can we be emotionally strong when we are emotionally exhausted? How will we face others when we are humiliated? How do we get back up when we are continually knocked down?

I wrote How Successful People Win to answer these and other questions about learning from losses, because I believe it can help you win. Most of us need someone to help us figure out how to do that. If that is your desire—to become a learner from losses—you need to change the way you look at losses, cultivate qualities that help you respond to them, and develop the ability to learn from them. I believe you can do that using this road map:

Cultivate Humility: The Spirit of Learning

Face Reality: The Foundation of Learning

Accept Responsibility: The First Step of Learning

Seek Improvement: The Focus of Learning

Nurture Hope: The Motivation of Learning

Develop Teachability: The Pathway of Learning

Overcome Adversity: The Catalyst for Learning

Expect Problems: Opportunities for Learning

Understand Bad Experiences: The Perspective for Learning

Embrace Change: The Price of Learning

Benefit from Maturity: The Value of Learning

My primary goal in life is adding value to people. I hope this book will add value to you, teaching you how to learn from your losses. That’s how successful people win!

Adapted from How Successful People Win (May 12, 2015)

What Successful People Know About Winning-by: John C. Maxwell (Part #1/2)

 What Successful People Know About Winning-by: John C. Maxwell (Part #1/2)

My friend Robert Schuller once asked, “What would you attempt to do if you knew you wouldn’t fail?” That’s a great question, an inspiring question. When most people hear it, they start dreaming. They are motivated to reach for their goals and to risk more.
I have a question that I think is just as important: What do you learn when you fail?
While people are usually ready to talk about their dreams, they are less prepared to answer a question about their shortcomings. Most people don’t like to talk about their mistakes and failures. They don’t want to confront their losses. They are embarrassed by them. And when they do find themselves falling short, they may find themselves saying something trite, such as “Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose.” The message is, “Hope to win, expect to lose, and live with the results either way.”
What’s wrong with that? It’s not how winners think!
Successful people know the way to turn a setback into a step forward. How? They don’t try to brush failure under the rug. They don’t run away from their losses. They learn from them. Every time. They understand that life’s greatest lessons are gained from our losses—if we approach them the right way. Mistakes are acceptable as long as the damage isn’t too great. Or as they say in Texas, “It doesn’t matter how much milk you spill as long as you don’t lose your cow!”

Why Losses Hurt So Much

In life, sometimes you do win. But other times you get knocked down. The key is to figure out why you got knocked down, learn from it, get back up, and move forward. That’s how successful people win.
Have you ever heard someone use the phrase “It’s only a game”? I bet if you have, it was from someone who was losing. Nobody likes to lose. Think of some of the losses in your life and how they made you feel. Not good. And it’s not just the pain of the moment that affects us. Our losses also cause us other difficulties. Here are a few:

1. Losses Cause Us to Be Emotionally Stuck

Author and speaker Les Brown says, “The good times we put in our pocket. The bad times we put in our heart.” I have found that to be true in my life. In my heart I still carry some of the bad times. I bet you do, too. The negative experiences affect us more deeply than positive ones, and if you’re like me, you may get emotionally stuck. Anxiety and fear are debilitating emotions for the human heart. So are losses. They can weaken, imprison, paralyze, dishearten, and sicken us. To be successful, we need to find ways to get unstuck emotionally.

2. Losses Cause Us to Be Mentally Defeated

It cannot be denied that our lives are filled with loss. Over the course of our adult lives, we lose jobs and positions. Our self-esteem may take a beating. We lose money. We miss opportunities. Friends and family die. And I don’t even want to talk about some of the physical losses we experience with advancing age! Some losses are large; some are small. And the losses we face affect our mental health. Some people handle it well, while others don’t.
The quality that distinguishes a successful person from an unsuccessful one who is otherwise like him is the capacity to manage disappointment and loss. Too often losing goes to our heads. It defeats us, and we have trouble coming up with solutions to our challenges. As the losses build up, they become more of a burden. We regret the losses of yesterday. We fear the losses of tomorrow. Regret saps our energy. We can’t build on regret. Fear for the future distracts us and fills us with apprehension.
We want success, but we should instead train for losses. We need to expect mistakes, failures, and losses in life, since each of us will face many of them. But we need to take them as they come, not allow them to build up.
This article is Part #1/2, and written by: John C. Maxwell.

Definiteness of Purpose with PMA-by: Napoleon Hill & W. Clement Stone

Definiteness of Purpose with PMA-by: Napoleon Hill & W. Clement Stone

Let us repeat: The starting point of all achievement is definiteness of purpose with PMA. Remember this statement and ask yourself, what is my goal? What do I really want?

Based on the people we see in our PMA Science of Success course, we estimate that 98 out of every 100 persons who are dissatisfied with their world do not have a clear picture in their mind of the world they would like for themselves.

Think of it! Think of the people who drift aimlessly through life, dissatisfied, struggling against a great many things, but without a clear-cut goal. Can you state, right now, what it is that you want out of life? Fixing your goals may not be easy. It may even involve some painful self-examination. But it will be worth whatever effort it costs, because as soon as you can name your goal; you can expect to enjoy many advantages. These advantages come almost automatically.

1. The first great advantage is that your subconscious mind begins to work under a universal law: “What the mind can conceive and believe–the mind can achieve.” Because you visualize your intended destination, your subconscious mind is affected by this self-suggestion. It goes to work to help you get there.

2. Because you know what you want, there is a tendency for you to try to get on the right track and head in the right direction. You get into action.

3. Work now becomes fun. You are motivated to pay the price. You budget your time and money. You study, think, and plan. The more you think about your goals, the more enthusiastic you become. And with enthusiasm your desire turns into a burning desire.

4. You become alerted to opportunities that will help you achieve your objectives as they present themselves in your everyday experiences. Because you know what you want, you are more likely to recognize these opportunities.

Source:  Success Through A Positive Mental Attitude. Prentice-Hall, Inc. 1960. Pgs. 24-25.

Development of a Positive Mental Attitude by Napoleon Hill

Development of a Positive Mental Attitude by Napoleon Hill

A subject of paramount importance in the development and maintenance of a positive mental attitude is believing where belief is justified. Let us review some of the circumstances which call for belief:

• Acquire an enduring belief in the existence of Infinite Intelligence from which your Creator makes it possible for you to receive the power necessary to help you take possession of your own mind, and direct it to whatever ends you may choose.
• Acquire an enduring belief in your ability to become free and self-determining as your greatest gift from your Creator. You should demonstrate this belief in actions fitting to its nature.
• Believe in that way of life and form of government which guarantees the freedom and precious privileges for which men in every century and all parts of the world have fought and died.
• Believe in those with whom you are associated in your occupation or calling in life, and recognize that if they are not worthy of your complete belief, you have the wrong associates.
• Believe in the power of the spoken word and see to it that you speak no word which does not harmonize in every respect with your positive mental attitude.

Source:  PMA Science of Success Course. Educational Edition. The Napoleon Hill Foundation. 1983. Pg. 231.

Cultivating Creativity in Times of Crisis-by: John C. Maxwell

Cultivating Creativity in Times of Crisis-by: John C. Maxwell

Like everyone I know, I was horrified to learn of the tragic devastation that occurred in Nepal and the surrounding region when an earthquake struck. I lived in California for many years, where earthquakes were a fact of life. But I never experienced anything like the quake that hit that region last week. The destruction and loss of life are heart-breaking.

I won’t attempt to give advice to the people affected by the tragedy. What they most need from us is prayer and relief efforts. But one thing I do know is that they will need to be creative in overcoming the difficulties they are now faced with. And we can all benefit from learning more about that topic. On that note, today I’d like to talk a little about creativity.

To face the greatest challenges of life, we need to cultivate creative thinking. In times of crisis, you need to tap into every good idea you have. And of course, the best time to increase your creativity is before the crisis occurs. This can be done by establishing the discipline of creative thinking.

Here are a few ways we can do that:

1.  Spend time with creative people.

Make a habit, both inside and outside of work, of spending time with creatives. Let their way of thinking challenge and influence yours.

2. Look for the obvious.

When problem-solving, many of us make the mistake of looking only for the “big” solution. Creativity means exploring all ideas, even the obvious and seemingly insignificant ones. Often the simplest solution is the best solution.

3. Be unreasonable.

Logic and creativity can work together quite well, but sometimes rational thinking gets in the way of being creative. Be willing to look at unreasonable ideas. Often they expand your thinking and lead to breakthroughs that you might otherwise miss.

4. Practice mental agility.

Creativity requires flexibility. Rigid, bureaucratic thinking is in direct opposition innovation and creativity. So make a habit of considering every idea, no matter how difficult it might seem to implement or how much change it may require.

5. Dare to be different.

Being creative means standing outside of the norm. You must cultivate a willingness to challenge every rule and assumption.

6. See problems as opportunities.

Sometimes the only difference between a problem and an opportunity is the word you use to describe it. Whenever you face a problem, take a step back and ask how it could be described as an opportunity—to innovate, build, and improve.

The discipline of creative thinking will change you—and for the better. As jurist Oliver Wendell Holmes said, “The mind, once expanded to the dimensions of larger ideas, never returns to its original size.”

My prayer is that people who have spent years cultivating creativity are already at work in Nepal – and the Middle East, and around the world – to serve people and bring solutions to hurting nations. May we find creative ways to offer relief, and keep them in our prayers.

This article was written by: John C. Maxwell.

How the People Around You Affect Personal Success-by: Jim Rohn

How the People Around You Affect Personal Success-by: Jim Rohn

Recently I sat down with a new friend I met for dinner. We talked about what it takes to achieve the goals you want to achieve in life. My friend is already a very accomplished marketing professional. And yet, there was lots more she wanted to do. One conclusion I kept coming back to in this talk is that a large amount of how successful you will be in life comes down to the people you spend time with.

This is why:

‘You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.’ Jim Rohn

This quote is one of the most powerful ones that I keep reminding myself over and over again. I am the average of the five people I spend the most time with. Others around myself determine how I think, how I act, and ultimately how successful I will be.

Fighting your way through the law of average: The sower and the reaper

This video from Jim Rohn is amazing. In short: You’ll face many struggles along the way if you are seeking success and happiness. If you are the sower, your seeds will get picked up by the birds first and won’t give a return. Then they will fall on shallow ground, leaving you with nothing again. Then they will fall on thorny ground and the sun will shine so hot that your small plant will die after the first day. No return either.

Then, one day, the seeds will fall on good ground and finally give you the expected return and success. The only way you can make sure that you will fight your way through this hardship is with the right people by your side.

Who are the people you spend time with?

It doesn’t matter how smart you are. It doesn’t matter how talented you are, which skills you have, where you are born, or which family you came from. All that counts if you want to be successful in life is the people you surround yourself with.

It’s a notion so simple, yet so difficult to get started with. Something I tried to do very specifically is this exercise:

• Who are the 5 people in your life that you spend time with? As in, if your day has 24 hours, how many of those hours are spent with which people. (I’m guessing amongst people will be some members of your family, your spouse, co-workers and some close friends.) Write those 5 people on a piece of paper. (It’s ok if they are less than 5.)
• Once you have a list of those 3-5 people, ask yourself this: Who are they? What do they do with their lives? How ambitious are they, how successful have they been, how happy, optimistic, and enthusiastic are they?
• Evaluate carefully if those people will really be those that will help you get to the next level you want to get to. Do they push you forward when you come to them with new ideas, no matter what? Or do they tell you that what you have in mind won’t work? Will they keep you going once the birds pick up your seeds, once your seeds fall on shallow or thorny ground?
• Make a choice of who in your list you want to continue spending time with. Don’t be afraid if none or only 1 or 2 amongst your 5 people today meet the standard of excellence you want to set for yourself. Keep going, decrease the time you spend, and increase the amount of time you keep your eyes looking for people that you want to have as one of your 5 closest people.
• It’s ok to end up with this:

  “Since last you heard from me, I lost some friends, well, heh, me and Snoop we’re dippin’ again.” ~ Dr. Dre (Still D.R.E.)

  Don’t be afraid to lose some friends, support from your family, or anything else if that means you start surrounding yourself with the right people. Instead of becoming the average of some average people, dip with the best.

  The people I spend time with

  I believe I’m someone who took longer than most people to understand this concept. I clung onto relationships with people far too long. All of them were great people, people I respect like I want to respect every other human being. Yet, I always knew these are not the people that are dying to be incredibly successful, incredibly happy, and doing no matter what it takes to chase their dreams.
  Gradually I learnt this, working my way to spend less and less time with them. Today, the people I spend time with are just 2 people. Joel and Tom. They are most likely the smartest people I have ever worked with before. Both have a focus and determination I’m constantly blown away by. I cling onto their enthusiasm, try to learn from their skillset as much as I can and get myself lifted onto the next level: purely by being in the same room with them.
  There is no one else I spend as much time with as Joel and Tom. 90% of my daily interaction happens with these two guys. The power they have is therefore incredible. I’m highly influenced and seek to be from them and their input. I know, because of their actions, experience, and daily work, the only impact this can have on me is a positive one. It is pushing me higher and onto the next level every day.
  I’m the average of Tom and Joel.
  Whether you want it or not, I believe this is how it works. The people you spend the most time with make you. You are their average. Do you think that’s true

Article by: Jim Rohn.

How Do You Become a Successful Failure?-by: John C. Maxwell

How Do You Become a Successful Failure?-by: John C. Maxwell

“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” – Thomas A. Edison
Nobody likes to fail. But if we’re honest, we understand that failure is a part of life. There is no success without some amount of failure. Great inventors like Thomas Edison experience a lot of failures on the way to a successful invention. Even the best baseball players strike out much more often than they hit a home run.
Anyone pursuing a goal of value will make mistakes and wrong decisions. So the key is to expect failure, to prepare for it, to be ready to turn it into a lesson and a stepping-stone to success. There is such a thing as a successful failure. These are some of the traits of such a person:

1.     Optimism. Find the benefit in every bad experience.

Thomas Edison redefined the failures in his experiments as “10,000 ways that won’t work.” He expected failure and counted it as one of the costs of finding a way that would work. By finding the benefit in the failure, he was able to keep attempting something great. Optimism is not limited to a few people as a personality trait. Optimism is a choice. And while it doesn’t guarantee immediate positive results, it does result in higher motivation and stronger character.

2.     Responsibility. Change your response to failure by accepting responsibility.

When we fail at something, it’s easy to blame someone or something else. Perhaps the circumstances or the people that we worked with. But failure is a learning opportunity. If I blame someone else, I’m just cheating myself out of that lesson. Responsibility is more important than reputation. And it tends to lead to reward, which can lead to more responsibility. Your willingness to take responsibility marks you as someone who’s mature and can be trusted to learn from the failure and keep trying.

3.     Resilience. Say goodbye to yesterday.

The ability to move on from failure is key to continuing to attempt great things. The mind can only focus on so much, so if we’re still too focused on what we did wrong, we can’t give all of our attention to attempting to do things right.
Here are five behaviors of people who haven’t gotten over past difficulties:

• Comparison. Either measuring your failures against those of others, or convincing yourself that your circumstances were harder than theirs.
• Rationalization. Telling yourself and others that you have good reasons for not getting over past hurts and mistakes. Believing that those who encourage you “just don’t understand.”
• Isolation. Pulling back and keeping yourself separate from others, either to avoid dealing with the issues, or to continue to feel sorry for yourself.
• Regret. Getting stuck lamenting or trying to fix things that cannot be changed.
• Bitterness. Feeling like a victim and blaming others for negative outcomes.

4.     Initiative. Take action and face your fear.

When we make mistakes and then consider trying again, we all feel some measure of fear. Facing the unknown, we easily come up with a list of things to worry about. But the act of worrying doesn’t help us at all in accomplishing our goals. As Corrie ten Boom said, “Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow. It empties today of its strength. Just believing that failure can be good isn’t enough to help us succeed. We need to act on that belief and take a step forward again in pursuit of our dream. Only then do we learn from our mistakes and make progress.
A successful failure is a failure that we respond to correctly: by finding the good, taking responsibility, moving on, and taking action. How do you respond to failure? Which of the above characteristics would you benefit from adopting?
Article by: John C. Maxwell.

Symptoms of the Fear of Criticism by Napoleon Hill

Symptoms of the Fear of Criticism by Napoleon Hill

Criticism is the one form of service, of which everyone has too much. Everyone has a stock of it which is handed out, gratis, whether called for or not. One’s nearest relatives often are the worst offenders. It should be recognized as a crime (in reality it is a crime of the worst nature), for any parent to build inferiority complexes in the mind of a child, through unnecessary criticism. Employers who understand human nature, get the best there is in men, not by criticism, but by constructive suggestion. Parents may accomplish the same results with their children. Criticism will plant FEAR in the human heart, or resentment, but it will not build love or affection.
Symptoms of the fear of criticism:
This fear is almost as universal as the fear of poverty, and its effects are just as fatal to personal achievement, mainly because this fear destroys initiative, and discourages the use of imagination.
The major symptoms of the fear are:
SELF-CONSCIOUSNESS. Generally expressed through nervousness, timidity in conversation and in meeting strangers, awkward movement of the hands and limbs, shifting of the eyes.
LACK OF POISE. Expressed through lack of voice control, nervousness in the presence of others, poor posture of body, poor memory.
PERSONALITY. Lacking in firmness of decision, personal charm, and ability to express opinions definitely. The habit of side-stepping issues instead of meeting them squarely. Agreeing with others without careful examination of their opinions.
INFERIORITY COMPLEX. The habit of expressing self-approval by word of mouth and by actions, as a means of covering up a feeling of inferiority. Using “big words” to impress others, (often without knowing the real meaning of the words). Imitating others in dress, speech and manners. Boasting of imaginary achievements. This sometimes gives a surface appearance of a feeling of superiority.
EXTRAVAGANCE. The habit of trying to “keep up with the Joneses,” spending beyond one’s income.
LACK OF INITIATIVE. Failure to embrace opportunities for self-advancement, fear to express opinions, lack of confidence in one’s own ideas, giving evasive answers to questions asked by superiors, hesitancy of manner and speech, deceit in both words and deeds.
LACK OF AMBITION. Mental and physical laziness, lack of self-assertion, slowness in reaching decisions, easily influenced by others, the habit of criticizing others behind their backs and flattering them to their faces, the habit of accepting defeat without protest, quitting an undertaking when opposed by others, suspicious of other people without cause, lacking in tactfulness of manner and speech, unwillingness to accept the blame for mistakes.
Source:  Think and Grow Rich A Ballantine Book, Published by Random House Publishing Group 1960. Pgs 210 and 211.

When Silence is Acceptance-by:Lori Ann Potter

 When Silence is Acceptance-by:Lori Ann Potter

Believable Lies Part 1: Silence is Acceptance

Once every eight weeks or so, our tribal community holds a meeting with the tribal council known as the Regular Bi-Monthly Membership Meeting.  From one meeting to the next, a lot of stuff can happen. In fact, there is such a vast amount of information presented in power-point presentations that, at times, absorbing it all is like trying to take a sip from a fire hose.
At the end of these meetings, a common question is offered to the members present, particularly whenever the tribal council requests feedback on a future decision they plan to make:
Are there any questions?  Remember folks…silence is acceptance.
For many years I remained silent at most tribal meetings, but my silence did not mean I accepted or agreed with everything I heard.  (I’ll explain why in a moment.) I listened, observed, and took pages of notes, and most of the time I refrained from adding my own concerns and opinions during the hour-long Q&A session at the end of every meeting.
I have a different perspective on silence.  I believe the declaration “silence is acceptance” is not only inaccurate; it’s a type of lie woven deep within the psyche of our community.  Any interpretation of someone’s intentions – absent of mutual understanding, time to research and process information, or freedom of communication within preset, respectful boundaries – is a deviation of authentic truth.  The term “silence is acceptance” is actually a subtle form of manipulation.  It’s an inherited mindset, ignorantly extended by those who follow the example of others who led in similar ways before them.
The truth is, silence can mean a lot of things and manifest in a variety of ways.  The existence of silence should never been interpreted as the absence of contradicting opinion.  Rather, silence can be either positive or negative, depending on the mindset of those remaining silent.   For this reason, we ought to be mindful to the messages relayed within our cones of meeting silence.
When Silence is Negative
Silence is negative when it becomes the language of those who lack hope; particularly those who feel their voices are not deemed important enough to be considered or accepted.  Silence can also manifest as a preference by those who lack the skills or patience necessary to communicate peacefully under pressure.   But the type of silence most debilitating is when a person’s silence entraps him or her into believing there is nothing he or she can do to influence positive change.
Why Silence Happens
Negative silence is the outcome of a passive form of bullying.  It’s the wearying affect of being condescended to, dictated or talked down to rather than respected, valued and uplifted.  It’s a reaction to a type of torture – the steady, daily water-drip antagonizing the soul of a community through passive, arrogant expression in a leader’s actions and words:
You need me.  I’m the best leader for you.  There is no one else who can lead effectively as me.  You don’t understand what I understand.  You’re not as educated/popular/acceptable/respected enough to be influential.  I am here to make the decisions for you.  I know what’s best for you and you do not.
Negative silence is one response to controlling mindsets – when every community decision is confined within the strict parameters of a leader’s comfort zone, regardless of what might be best for the whole community.  It’s a response to empty “open door policies” veiled securely behind locked doors.  It’s the result of formalizing even the simplest interactions.  It’s the affect of decades of secrecy and bureaucracy, limiting and prohibiting the community’s access to and use of information.
How Silence is Revealed – Negative and Positive
Silence is often revealed through absence, such as a poor turnout to meetings and events.  It’s when people stop asking questions, quit volunteering or refrain from attempting to offer solutions to problems.  It’s when people lose faith in a bureaucratic system; when they feel unwelcome, disenfranchised or powerless to contribute anything of value.  It’s when priorities shift dramatically as people show up late, refuse to engage and decide to leave early, viewing a meeting or event gathering as much lower on their list of importance than it used to be.
Silence is also evident in people who refuse to vote.  It’s when people believe their vote makes no difference in a situation, although in reality, their absence really does become a type of vote.  It’s an abstention allowing the majority vote of the day to rule the outcome of a decision, regardless of a voter’s stand on the matter.  It’s the only time, in fact, when silence actually becomes a form of acceptance, whether it is intended or not.
Silence is positive when it is evidence of wisdom.  There is a sacredness in silence that is seldom recognized, such as when silence is held by those waiting for the right timing to say what needs to be said in a way it might be received most effectively, whether written, spoken or both.  Silence empties the mind of clutter, allowing it to absorb and fully process what has entered it.  Silence enables one to consider rather than simply react.
It’s also evident in those who choose the silence of absence as a catalyst for positive change, even when it’s only temporary.   Removing oneself from controlling, manipulative, abusive, gossip-laden, deceitful or oppressive groups and situations, for instance.  This can include relationships, family gatherings, meetings, online groups and even some work environments.  In these situations, a person’s ability to walk away and remain temporarily silent becomes a demonstration of his or her strength – the wisdom to understand one’s limits, and the awareness that circumstances do not dictate his or her value, abilities or limitations.
It’s your turn: In what ways do you believe silence can be positive or negative within a relationship, family or community?

Becoming a Master of Persuasion-by: Brian Tracy (Part #2/2)

Becoming a Master of Persuasion-by: Brian Tracy (Part #2/2)

Learn how to get what you want through the power of persuasion.

Getting Others to Work for You

2. The second form of leverage that you must develop for success is other people’s knowledge. You must be able to tap into the brain power of many other people if you want to accomplish worthwhile goals. Successful people are not those who know everything needed to accomplish a particular task, but more often than not, they are people who know how to find the knowledge they need.

What is the knowledge that you need to achieve your most important goals? Of the knowledge required, what knowledge must you have personally in order to control your situation, and what knowledge can you borrow, buy or rent from others?

It has been said that, in our information-based society, you are never more than one book or two phone calls away from any piece of knowledge in the country. With online computer services that access huge data bases all over the country, you can usually get the precise information you require in a few minutes by using a computer. Whenever you need information and expertise from another person in order to achieve your goals, the very best way to persuade them to help you is to ask them for their assistance.

Almost everyone who is knowledgeable in a particular area is proud of their accomplishments. By asking a person for their expert advice, you compliment them and motivate them to want to help you. So don’t be afraid to ask, even if you don’t know the individual personally.

3. The third key to leverage, which is very much based on your persuasive abilities, is other people’s money. Your ability to use other people’s money and resources to leverage your talents is the key to financial success. Your ability to buy and defer payment; to sell and collect payment in advance; to borrow, rent or lease furniture, fixtures and machinery; and to borrow money from people to help you multiply your opportunities is one of the most important of all skills that you can develop. And these all depend on your ability to persuade others to cooperate with you financially so that you can develop the leverage you need to move onward and upward in your field.

The Four “P”s
There are four “P”s that will enhance your ability to persuade others in both your work and personal life. They are power, positioning, performance and politeness. And they are all based on perception.

The first “P” is power. The more power and influence that a person perceives you have, whether real or not, the more likely it is that that person will be persuaded by you to do the things you want them to do. For example, if you appear to be a senior executive, or a wealthy person, people will be much more likely to help you and serve you than they would be if you were perceived to be a lower level employee.

The second “P” is positioning. This refers to the way that other people think about you and talk about you when you are not there. Your positioning in the mind and heart of other people largely determines how open they are to being influenced by you.

In everything you do involving other people, you are shaping and influencing their perceptions of you and your positioning in their minds. Think about how you could change the things you say and do so that people think about you in such a way that they are more open to your requests and to helping you achieve your goals.

The third “P” is performance. This refers to your level of competence and expertise in your area. A person who is highly respected for his or her ability to get results is far more persuasive and influential than a person who only does an average job.

The perception that people have of your performance capabilities exerts an inordinate influence on how they think and feel about you. You should commit yourself to being the very best in your field. Sometimes, a reputation for being excellent at what you do can be so powerful that it alone can make you an extremely persuasive individual in all of your interactions with the people around you. They will accept your advice, be open to your influence and agree with your requests.

The fourth “P” of persuasion power is politeness. People do things for two reasons, because they want to and because they have to. When you treat people with kindness, courtesy and respect, you make them want to do things for you. They are motivated to go out of their way to help you solve your problems and accomplish your goals. Being nice to other people satisfies one of the deepest of all subconscious needs–the need to feel important and respected. Whenever you convey this to another person in your conversation, your attitude and your treatment of that person, he or she will be wide open to being persuaded and influenced by you in almost anything you need.

Again, perception is everything. The perception of an individual is his or her reality. People act on the basis of their perceptions of you. If you change their perceptions, you change the way they think and feel about you, and you change the things that they will do for you.

You can become an expert at personal persuasion. You can develop your personal power by always remembering that there are only two ways to get the things you want in life: You can do it all yourself, or you can get most of it done by others. Your ability to communicate, persuade, negotiate, influence, delegate and interact effectively with other people will enable you to develop leverage using other people’s efforts, other people’s knowledge and other people’s money. The development of your persuasion power will enable you to become one of the most powerful and influential people in your organization. It will open up doors for you in every area of your life.

Becoming a Master of Persuasion-by: Brian Tracy (Part #1/2)

Becoming a Master of Persuasion-by: Brian Tracy

Learn how to get what you want through the power of persuasion.

Persuasion power can help you get more of the things you want faster than anything else you do. It can mean the difference between success and failure. It can guarantee your progress and enable you to use all of your other skills and abilities at the very highest level. Your persuasion power will earn you the support and respect of your customers, bosses, coworkers, colleagues and friends. The ability to persuade others to do what you want them to do can make you one of the most important people in your community.
Fortunately, persuasion is a skill, like riding a bicycle, that you can learn through study and practice. Your job is to become absolutely excellent at influencing and motivating others to support and assist you in achieving your goals and solving your problems.
You can either persuade others to help you or be persuaded to help them. It is one or the other. Most people are not aware that every human interaction involves a complex process of persuasion and influence. And being unaware, they are usually the ones being persuaded to help others rather than the ones who are doing the persuading.
Persuasion Through Motivation
The key to persuasion is motivation. Every human action is motivated by something. Your job is to find out what motivates other people and then to provide that motivation. People have two major motivations: the desire for gain and the fear of loss.
The desire for gain motivates people to want more of the things they value in life. They want more money, more success, more health, more influence, more respect, more love and more happiness. Human wants are limited only by individual imagination. No matter how much a person has, he or she still wants more and more. When you can show people how they can get more of the things they want by helping you achieve your goals, you can motivate them to act in your behalf.
President Eisenhower once said, “Persuasion is the art of getting people to do what you want them to do, and to like it.” You always need to be thinking about how you can get people to want to do the things that you need them to do to attain your objectives.
People are also motivated to act by the fear of loss. This fear, in all its various forms, is often stronger than the desire for gain. People fear financial loss, loss of health, anger or disapproval of others, loss of love and the loss of anything they have worked hard to accomplish. They fear change, risk and uncertainty because these threaten them with potential losses.
Whenever you can show a person that they can avoid a loss of some kind by doing what you want them to do, you can influence them to take a particular action. The very best appeals are those where you offer an opportunity to gain and an opportunity to avoid loss at the same time.
Getting What You Want
There are two ways to get the things you want in life. First, you can work by yourself and for yourself in your own best interest. You can be a “Robinson Crusoe” of modern life, relying on yourself for the satisfaction of your needs. By doing this, you can accomplish a little, but not a lot. The person who looks to himself or herself completely is limited in his or her capacities. He or she will never be rich or successful.
The second way to get the things you want is by gaining and using leverage. Leverage allows you to multiply yourself and get far more out of the hours you put in rather than doing everything yourself.
There are three forms of leverage you must develop to fulfill your full potential in our society: other people’s efforts, other people’s knowledge, and other people’s money.
1. You leverage yourself through other people’s efforts by getting other people to work with you and for you in the accomplishment of your objectives. Sometimes you can ask them to help you voluntarily, although people won’t work for very long without some personal reward. At other times you can hire them to help you, thereby freeing you up to do higher-value work.
One of the most important laws of economics is called “Ricardo’s Law.” It is also called the Law of Comparative Advantage. This law states that when someone can accomplish a part of your task at a lower hourly rate than you would earn for accomplishing more valuable parts of your task, you should delegate or outsource that part of the task.
For example, if you want to earn $100,000 a year, in a 250-day year, you need to make $50 per hour. That means you must be doing work that is worth $50 per hour, eight hours per day, 250 days per year. Therefore, if there is any part of your work–like making photocopies, filing information, typing letters or filling out expense forms–that is not valued at $50 per hour, you should stop doing it. You should persuade someone else who works at a lower hourly rate to do it for you. The more lower level tasks you can persuade others to do, the more time you will have to do tasks that pay you more. This is one of the essential keys to getting the leverage you need to become one of the higher paid people in your profession.
Management can be defined as “getting things done through others.” To be a manager you must be an expert at persuading and influencing others to work in a common direction. This is why all excellent managers are also excellent low-pressure salespeople. They do not order people to do things; instead, they persuade them to accept certain responsibilities, with specific deadlines and agreed-upon standards of performance. When a person has been persuaded that he or she has a vested interest in doing a job well, he or she accepts ownership of the job and the result. Once a person accepts ownership and responsibility, the manager can step aside confidently, knowing the job will be done on schedule.
In every part of your life, you have a choice of either doing it yourself or delegating it to others. Your ability to get someone else to take on the job with the same enthusiasm that you would have is an exercise in personal persuasion. It may seem to take a little longer at the beginning, but it saves you an enormous amount of time completing the task.
*Article written by: Brian Tracy.

The 3 Decisions That Will Change Your Financial Life-by: Tony Robbins (Part #1/2)

The 3 Decisions That Will Change Your Financial Life-by: Tony Robbins

There’s nothing worse than a rich person who’s chronically angry or unhappy. There’s really no excuse for it, yet I see this phenomenon every day. It results from an extremely unbalanced life, one with too much expectation and not enough appreciation for what’s there.
Without gratitude and appreciation for what you already have, you’ll never know true fulfillment. But how do you cultivate balance in life? What’s the point of achievement if your life has no balance?
For nearly four decades, I’ve had the privilege of coaching people from every walk of life, including some of the most powerful men and women on the planet. I’ve worked with presidents of the United States as well as owners of small businesses.
Across the board, I’ve found that virtually every moment people make three key decisions that dictate the quality of their lives.
If you make these decisions unconsciously, you'll end up like majority of people who tend to be out of shape physically, exhausted emotionally and often financially stressed. But if you make these decisions consciously, you can literally change the course of your life today.

Decision 1: Carefully choose what to focus on.

At every moment, millions of things compete for your attention. You can focus on things that are happening right here and now or on what you want to create in the future. Or you can focus on the past.
Where focus goes, energy flows. What you focus on and your pattern for doing so shapes your entire life.
Which area do you tend to focus on more: what you have or what’s missing from your life?
I’m sure you think about both sides of this coin. But if you examine your habitual thoughts, what do you tend to spend most of your time dwelling on?
Rather than focusing on what you don’t have and begrudging those who are better off than you financially, perhaps you should acknowledge that you have much to be grateful for and some of it has nothing to do with money. You can be grateful for your health, family, friends, opportunities and mind.
Developing a habit of appreciating what you have can create a new level of emotional well-being and wealth. But the real question is, do you take time to deeply feel grateful with your mind, body, heart and soul? That’s where the joy, happiness and fulfillment can be found.
Consider a second pattern of focus that affects the quality of your life: Do you tend to focus more on what you can control or what you can’t?
If you focus on what you can’t control, you’ll have more stress in life. You can influence many aspects of your life but you usually can’t control them.
When you adopt this pattern of focus, your brain has to make another decision:  (Coming on Part #2 Tomorrow).

The 3 Decisions That Will Change Your Financial Life-by: Tony Robbins (Part #2/2)

The 3 Decisions That Will Change Your Financial Life-by: Tony Robbins (Part #2/2)

When you adopt this pattern (Information from Part #1/2) of focus, your brain has to make another decision:

Decision 2: Figure out, What does this all mean?

Ultimately, how you feel about your life has nothing to do with the events in it or with your financial condition or what has (or hasn't) happened to you. The quality of your life is controlled by the meaning you give these things.
Most of the time you may be unaware of the effect of your unconscious mind in assigning meaning to life’s events.
When something happens that disrupts your life (a car accident, a health issue, a job loss), do you tend to think that this is the end or the beginning?
If someone confronts you, is that person insulting you, coaching you or truly caring for you?
Does a devastating problem mean that God is punishing you or challenging you? Or is it possible that this problem is a gift from God?
Your life takes on whatever meaning you give it. With each meaning comes a unique feeling or emotion and the quality of your life involves where you live emotionally.
I always ask during my seminars, “How many of you know someone who is on antidepressants and still depressed?” Typically 85 percent to 90 percent of those assembled raise their hands.
How is this possible? The drugs should make people feel better. It's true that antidepressants do come with labels warning that suicidal thoughts are a possible side effect.
But no matter how much a person drugs himself, if he constantly focuses on what he can’t control in life and what’s missing, he won't find it hard to despair. If he adds to that a meaning like “life is not worth living,” that's an emotional cocktail that no antidepressant can consistently overcome.
Yet if that same person can arrive at a new meaning, a reason to live or a belief that all this was meant to be, then he will be stronger than anything that ever happened to him.
When people shift their habitual focus and meanings, there’s no limit on what life can become. A change of focus and a shift in meaning can literally alter someone's biochemistry in minutes.
So take control and always remember: Meaning equals emotion and emotion equals life. Choose consciously and wisely. Find an empowering meaning in any event, and wealth in its deepest sense will be yours today.
Once you create a meaning in your mind, it creates an emotion, and that emotion leads to a state for making your third decision:

Decision 3: What will you do?

The actions you take are powerfully shaped by the emotional state you're in. If you're angry, you're going to behave quite differently than if you're feeling playful or outrageous.
If you want to shape your actions, the fastest way is to change what you focus on and shift the meaning to be something more empowering.
Two people who are angry will behave differently. Some pull back. Others push through.
Some individuals express anger quietly. Others do so loudly or violently. Yet others suppress it only to look for a passive-aggressive opportunity to regain the upper hand or even exact revenge.
Where do these patterns come from? People tend to model their behavior on those they respect, enjoy and love.
The people who frustrated or angered you? You often reject their approaches.
Yet far too often you may find yourself falling back into patterns you witnessed over and over again in your youth and were displeased by.
It’s very useful for you to become aware of your patterns when you are frustrated, angry or sad or feel lonely. You can’t change your patterns if you’re not aware of them.
Now that you’re aware of the power of these three decisions, start looking for role models who are experiencing what you want out of life. I promise you that those who have passionate relationships have a totally different focus and arrive at totally different meanings for the challenges in relationships than people who are constantly bickering or fighting.
It’s not rocket science. If you become aware of the differences in how people approach these three decisions, you’ll have a pathway to help you create a permanent positive change in any area of life.
This piece was adapted from Tony Robbins' new book, Money Master the Game: 7 Simple Steps to Financial Freedom. 

Move on Your Own Personal Initiative-by: Napoleon Hill

Move on Your Own Personal Initiative-by: Napoleon Hill

The mind that has been made to receive, attracts that which it needs, just as a magnet attracts steel filings.

The most difficult part of any task is that of making a start. But once it has been made, the way to complete the job become evident. The truth of this has been proved by the fact that men with definite major purposes are more successful than those without objectives.

And we have yet to find a successful man who did not readily admit that the turning-point of major importance in his life came when he adopted a definite major purpose.

No one person can tell another what his definite major purpose in life should be. But any successful man will verify that success is not possible without such a purpose.

Adopt a definite major purpose and see how quickly the habit of moving on your own personal initiative will inspire you to action.

Your imagination will become more alert and it will reveal to you many opportunities related to your purpose. Opposition to your purpose will disappear and people will give you their friendly cooperation.

Fear and doubt will disappear also. And somewhere along the way you will meet your “other self” face to face – that self which can, and will, carry you over to the success side of the River of Life.

From there on the going will be easy and the way will be clear, for you will have adapted yourself to the great intangible forces of nature which lead inevitably to the attainment of your chosen goal.

You will wonder why you did not find the path sooner, and you will understand why success attracts more success while failure attracts more failure.

And just a short distance ahead, you will see the great gate that leads into Happy Valley! You are not there yet, for there are lesser gates through which you must pass before you enter the great estate.

Source:  PMA Science of Success Course. Educational Edition. The Napoleon Hill Foundation. 1983. Pgs. 206-207.

Be a Belief Magnet-by: John C. Maxwell

Be a Belief Magnet-by: John C. Maxwell

Have you ever really thought about the way a magnet works? To someone who doesn’t understand the science, a magnet’s power to attract things to it appears almost magical. Likewise, have you ever met a person who seems to attract people the way a magnet attracts metal? They believe in others, and they attract people who just magically begin to believe in themselves. But I’m here today to tell you that there’s no magic – just a desire to help others and a method of transferring belief.

When I speak to people, whether in a crowd or one-on-one, I make it my goal to increase their belief in themselves. I want to share my belief and do things with them until one day it’s not my belief in them, but it’s their belief in themselves. That’s what I call the ultimate transfer of a leader. It’s when leaders take the belief that they have for their people and pass it on until the people own it. It’s not borrowed. That’s always my goal, to help people to get to that belief level.

How to be a belief magnet

Here’s how I share my belief in people and help them find that belief in themselves.

1.         Affirmation

I was on a phone call recently with a woman who shared about how she’d heard me speak a few years ago. She told me that as I spoke at the conference, she said to herself, “Here’s a man who really believes in me.” She continued on the phone, “It just drew me to you. It just drew me to read your books and go to the conferences where you’re speaking.”

The first way to help other people believe in themselves is to actually believe in them. When people sense that we believe in their potential and desire to be successful, it literally draws them in. Then we can share that belief with them. One way I do that is to “put a 10 on their heads.” What I mean by that is, I give each person a score of 10 (on a scale of 1 to 10) when I meet them. From the very beginning, I assume the best about them and choose to believe that about them. I communicate what I believe and why. This sets them up to find that belief themselves.

2.         Mentoring

With mentoring, I invite the person into my life, to walk alongside me. As we spend time together, they experience what I experience. I especially want them to enjoy the excitement of little victories. I want them to experience successes. This helps them enjoy the feeling of a victory even before having one on their own. Then they have a better idea of what they are aiming for.

3.         Equipping

Equipping takes the next step beyond just exposing people to my experiences and victories. Now I’m focused on giving them the specific tools and skills that they need to be successful. This is when I break it down for them. I suggest areas where they can grow, books they can read, and other resources that will help them. I also empower them by stepping back and letting them do the task themselves.

4.         Practice

After I’ve equipped someone with the tools and resources necessary to achieve a goal, I have to give them time to practice. I have a friend who’s a teaching pro in golf who recently gave me a two-hour lesson to help with my swing. He was a good teacher and helped me tremendously. But when we were done, he said, “Now, you do understand that for those two hours that I taught you, you need to put in twenty hours of practice before you’ll have it down.” He was communicating that I needed to put in the work and do the tasks before I could get to the final stage.

5.         Victory

Nothing, nothing, nothing helps a person’s belief in self like success. I could give you good how-to advice and affirmation all day long, and it wouldn’t have nearly the impact that a single victory would have on your self-belief. I believe that having a win under your belt is one hundred times more important than affirmation. Remember, when I give you affirmation, it is still something I’m doing. When you achieve a victory, you’re the one who made that happen. Once someone has practiced, make sure you stand back and allow them to win the victory. That just takes self-belief to an entirely new level.

As a leader, I encourage you to set people up for success. When you believe in them to start with, and communicate that belief, you become a magnet, drawing them to you. Then when you mentor and equip them, you’re giving them the tools and experiences that keep them on the path with you. Finally, when you allow them to own the victory, you help them make your belief their own.

I hope you’ll be a belief magnet to the people you lead. It not only increases their good feelings and morale because they want to be close to you; it also shows them what they’re capable of on their own, increasing their self-belief. This is the ultimate transfer of leadership.

Article written by: John C. Maxwell.

Rohn: 4 Straightforward Steps to Success

Rohn: 4 Straightforward Steps to Success

Success is nothing more than a few simple disciplines practiced every day.

Jim Rohn

Success is neither magical nor mysterious. Success is the natural consequence of consistently applying basic fundamentals. I’ve said it before, that success is the study of the obvious—but sometimes we need someone to remind us and show us the simplest way to get there.
Here are four simple steps to find your way to more success than you could ever imagine:
1. Collect good ideas. My mentor taught me to keep a journal when I was 25 years old. It’s the best collecting place for all of the ideas and information that comes your way. And that inspiration will be passed on to my children and my grandchildren.
If you hear a good health idea, capture it, write it down. Then on a cold wintry evening or a balmy summer night, go back through your journal. Dive back into the ideas that changed your life, the ideas that saved your marriage, the ideas that bailed you out of hard times, the ideas that helped you become successful. That’s valuable, going back over the pages of ideas you gathered over the years, reminiscing, reminding yourself. So be a collector of good ideas, of experiences, for your business, for your relationships, for your future.
It is challenging to be a student of your own life, your own future, your own destiny. Don’t trust your memory. When you listen to something valuable, write it down. When you come across something important, write it down. Take the time to keep notes and to keep a journal.
2. Have good plans. Building a life, building anything, is like building a house; you need to have a plan. What if you just started laying bricks and somebody asks, “What are you building?” You put down the brick you’re holding and say, “I have no idea.”
So, here’s the question: When should you start building the house? Answer: As soon as you have it finished. It’s simple time management.
Don’t start the day until it is pretty well finished—at least the outline of it. Leave some room to improvise, leave some room for extra strategies, but finish it before you start it. Don’t start the week until you have it finished. Lay it out, structure it, put it to work. The same goes for the month ahead—don’t start it until you have a plan in place.
And, the big one, don’t start the year until it is finished on paper. It’s not a bad idea, toward the end of the year, to sit down with your family for the personal plans, to sit down in your business for the professional plans, to sit down with your financial advisor to map out money plans. Plan out your calendar, your game plan, for all of life’s moving parts.
The reason why most people face the future with apprehension instead of anticipation is because they don’t have it well designed.
3. Give yourself time. It takes time to build a career. It takes time to make changes. It takes time to learn, grow, change, develop and produce. It takes time to refine philosophy and activity. So give yourself time to learn, time to start some momentum, time to finally achieve.
I remember when Mama was teaching me a little bit about the piano. “Here is the left hand scale,” she said. I got that; it was easy. “Here is the right hand scale.” I got that, too. Then she said, “Now we are going to play both hands at the same time.” “Well, how can you do that?” I asked. Because one at a time was easy… but two the same time? But I got to where I could play the scales with both hands. “Now we are going to read the music and play with both hands,” she said. You can’t do all that, I thought. But you know, sure enough I looked at the music, looked at each hand, a little confused at first, but finally I grasped it. Then I remember the day when Mama said, “Now we are going to watch the audience, read the music and play with both hands. Now that is going too far! I thought. How could one person possibly do all that? By giving myself time to master one skill before we went to the next, I got to where I could watch the audience, read the music and play with both hands.
Life is not just the passing of time. Life is the collection of experiences and their intensity.
4. Change yourself. Learn to solve problems—business problems, family problems, financial problems, emotional problems. The best way to treat a challenge? As an opportunity to grow. Change if you have to, modify if you must, discard an old philosophy that wasn’t working well for a new one.
The best phrase my mentor ever gave me: “Mr. Rohn, if you will change, everything will change for you.” I took that to heart, and sure enough, the more I improved, the more everything improved for me.
You cannot change your destination overnight, but you can change your direction overnight.

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