To Lead Others, First Lead Yourself-By: John C. Maxwell
During a Q&A session at a conference, someone asked, “What has been your greatest challenge as a leader?”
“Leading me!” I answered. “That has
always been my greatest challenge as a leader.” Some in the audience
were surprised by my response. The more experienced leaders were not.
Like me, they could trace many of their failures to their own personal
leadership mismanagement. Isn’t that also true for you? If I could
kick the person responsible for my problems, I wouldn’t be able to sit
down for a week!
Look in the Mirror
Learning to lead yourself well is one of
the most important things you’ll ever do as a leader. For almost forty
years I’ve served others as a leader, and for more than two and a half
decades of that time I was the senior pastor of a church. My years
working with people have taught me an important truth: people seldom see
themselves realistically. Human nature seems to endow us with the
ability to size up everybody in the world except ourselves. That’s why
my book Winning with People begins with the Mirror Principle:
“The first person we must examine is ourselves.” If you don’t look at
yourself realistically, you will never understand where your personal
difficulties are coming from.
Most people use two totally different
sets of criteria for judging themselves and judging others. We tend to
judge others according to their actions. It’s very cut-and-dried.
However, we judge ourselves by our intentions. Even if we do the wrong
thing, we let ourselves off the hook if we believe our intentions are
good. That’s part of the reason we allow ourselves to make the same
mistakes over and over again before we are willing to make real changes.
Take Action
How clearly do you see yourself? To get a more objective look at
yourself, review your performance from the last year. List all of your
major goals and objectives, then mark each as either “achieved” or “not
achieved.” Now show the list to someone you know and respect, and tell
the person you are evaluating a candidate for a job. Ask them what they
think based on the “candidate’s” achievements and failures. How does
that person’s evaluation jive with your own? This will tell you a lot
about your self-perception.
Keys to Leading Yourself
Why is leading yourself well so important?
Because there is a lot riding on it. God has given each of us things
to do. I want to complete them during my brief time here on earth,
don’t you? And I don’t want to fail because I wasn’t willing to put in
the hard work when no one else was looking. The Apostle Paul understood
this. In 1 Corinthians 9:25-27, he writes, “Everyone who competes in
the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will
not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore
I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man
beating the air. No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I
have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the
prize.” In other words, Paul worked hard at leading himself so that he
could effectively lead others.
If that is your goal, there are things you can do to improve your
self-leadership. Here are four. I have tried to practice them as a
prerequisite for leading others:
- Learn Followership
Bishop Fulton J. Sheen remarked,
“Civilization is always in danger when those who have never learned to
obey are given the right to command.” Only a leader who has followed
well knows how to lead others well. Good leadership requires an
understanding of the world that followers live in. Connecting with your
congregation and your staff becomes possible because you have walked in
their shoes. You know what it means to be under authority and thus have a
better sense of how authority should be exercised.
In contrast, leaders who have never
followed well or submitted to authority tend to be prideful,
unrealistic, rigid and autocratic. They lord their position and power
over others. Jesus warned against this (Matt 20:24). No, instead we
are to “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ” (Ephesians
5:21). If we desire to make an impact, we must first learn to follow
under the authority of others.
- Develop Self-Discipline
It’s said that one day, Frederick the
Great of Prussia was walking on the outskirts of Berlin when he
encountered a very old man walking ramrod-straight in the opposite
direction.
“Who are you?” Frederick asked his subject.
“I am a king,” replied the old man.
“A king!” laughed Frederick. “Over what kingdom do you reign?”
“Over myself,” was the proud old man’s reply.
Each of us is “monarch” over our own
lives. We are responsible for ruling our actions and decisions. To make
consistently good decisions, to take the right action at the right time
and to refrain from the wrong actions requires character and
self-discipline. To do otherwise is to lose control of ourselves—to do
or say things we regret, to miss opportunities we are given, to spend
ourselves into debt. As Solomon remarked, “The rich rule over the poor,
and the borrower is servant to the lender” (Prov 22:7).
When we are foolish, we want to conquer
the world. When we are wise, we want to conquer ourselves. This begins
when we do what we should, no matter how we feel about it.
- Practice Patience
Leaders are often impatient people. The
leaders I know look ahead, think ahead and want to move ahead. This can
be good; being one step ahead makes you a leader. However, impatience
can also lead to trouble. Some of my greatest leadership gaffes have
come because I tried to take a shortcut instead of respecting the
leadership process.
Few worthwhile things in life come
quickly. There is no such thing as instant greatness or instant
maturity—not for you, and not for your staff or the members of your
congregation. We are used to instant oatmeal, instant coffee and
microwave popcorn. But becoming a leader doesn’t happen overnight.
Microwave leaders don’t have any staying power. Leadership is more of a
Crock-Pot proposition. It takes time, but the end product is worth the
wait.
Leaders need to remember that the point
of leading is not to cross the finish line first; it’s to take people
across the finish line with you. Isn’t this why God called us to
ministry—for the sake of others? God is in the people business, and so
are we.
If you are moving too fast, you must
deliberately slow your pace. Stay connected to your people, enlist them
to help fulfill the vision, and motivate them to persevere. You can’t
do this if you’re running too far ahead of your people.
Take Action
In which of the three preceding areas—followership, self-discipline,
or patience—do you most need to grow? What new task or practice could
you take on to develop in that area? Give yourself a concrete goal and a
deadline.
- Seek Accountability
Few things are more disheartening or
harmful than seeing Christian leaders fail in their trust because of an
ethical failure. People who lead themselves well know a secret: they
cannot trust themselves. Good leaders know that power can be seductive,
and they understand their own fallibility. To deny it is to put yourself
in danger.
Over the years, I’ve read about many
leaders who failed ethically in their leadership. Can you guess what
they had in common? They all thought it could never happen to them. They
had a false sense of security.
This was a sobering realization for me, and it led me to make two
commitments that I hope you will make for your own sake, for the sake of
your family, and for the sake of your church: First,
I will not trust myself. Second,
I will become accountable to others.
Accountability isn’t just the
willingness to explain your actions to others. It begins long before we
act. It starts with seeking and accepting advice from others. Most wrong
actions come about because people are not held accountable early
enough.
Take Action
How well do you take advice? Ask five to ten friends, colleagues and family members to evaluate you according to this scale:
- You don’t want advice.
- You don’t object to advice.
- You welcome advice.
- You actively seek advice.
- You often follow the advice given to you.
Average your scores. If you average
is below a 4, you need to improve in this area. Begin enlisting others
in your information-gathering process before you make decisions. If you
are married, begin with your spouse.
A Higher Standard
Leading yourself well means that you
hold yourself to a higher standard of accountability than others do.
Why? Because God holds you responsible not only for your own actions,
but also for those of the people you lead. Leadership is a trust, not a
right. For that reason, you must “fix” yourself earlier than others may
be required to.
Thomas J. Watson, the former chairman of
IBM, said, “Nothing so conclusively proves a man’s ability to lead
others as what he does from day to day to lead himself.” Leaders receive
very little fanfare for quietly leading themselves well day in and day
out. Most people are unaware of the disciplines their leaders practice
or the sacrifices they make outside of the spotlight. However, they
don’t do it for recognition; they do it for results. What leaders do
day-to-day always pays off in the long run. Success or failure isn’t an
event, but a process.
The bottom line is that the smallest
crowd you will ever lead is you—but it’s the most important one. If you
do that well, then you will earn the right to lead even bigger crowds.
And on the days that you find it difficult to lead yourself well and
you’re tempted to give up, remember the Parable of the Minas. To the
servants who managed their affairs well, their master gave them greater leadership responsibilities; He put them in charge of cities (Luke 19:17). What’s more, he told them, “Well done.”
Lead yourself well, and God will reward your faithfulness.
