Friday, December 13, 2013

John Maxwell: 4 Steps to Handling Criticism by: John C. Maxwell-Part #2/2

3: Accept Yourself 

I saved the following quote from “Dear Abby” a few years ago because I love her definition of maturity. She says, “Maturity is the ability to stick with the job until it’s finished, the ability to do the job without being supervised, the ability to carry money without spending it, and the ability to bear an injustice without wanting to get even.” 

Maturity also enables you to accept yourself, which is the fi rst step in becoming a better person. Carl Rogers said, “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” 

Leo Buscaglia counseled, “The easiest thing to be in the world is you. The most difficult thing to be is what other people want you to be.” If you worry about what people think of you, it’s because you have more confidence in their opinion than you have in your own. Judith Bardwick said, “Real confidence comes from knowing and accepting yourself—your strengths and limitations— in contrast to depending on affirmation from others.” 

4: Forget Yourself 

While we are growing up, a lot of us spend a good deal of time worrying about what the world thinks of us. By the time we reach 60, we realize the world wasn’t paying much attention. Secure people forget themselves so they can focus on others. This allows us to be secure enough to take criticism and even serve the critic 

Secure people know who they are. They know they make mistakes and have weaknesses, but they don’t have to lower themselves to the level of what is being said about them. Secure people don’t have to defend themselves. And those who have reached this fourth stage also find it easy to laugh at themselves. 

One of my favorite Chinese proverbs says, “Blessed are those who can laugh at themselves. They shall never cease to be entertained.” For years, I have laughed at myself because I’ve done some very foolish things. I even learned to laugh about a heart attack I had 10 years ago. 

During my recovery time, I decided I would spend a day reflecting on what would’ve happened if I had died. What would my funeral service be like? How many people would show up? As everyone knows, the size of the crowd the day they bury you will be dependent on the weather. Next, what do they do after they put you in the ground? Yes, 30 minutes after you are buried, the biggest question on the minds of your family and friends is how to get to the community center the fastest to make sure they get some potato salad. 

When it comes to criticism, it’s important to first understand that half of the stuff people say about you is true. So just take inventory, suck it up and change. And the other half they say about you is not—they are just revealing issues in their own lives. If you know yourself, you will know what you are good at and what you are not. Start changing the things that are real and forget yourself so that you can focus on others. Because the criticism will never stop. If you are able to get to this fourth stage, criticism won’t have a negative effect in your life. And that’s a big lesson I had to learn that has helped me as a leader, and I hope it helps you, too. “If you’re getting kicked in the rear, it means you’re out front.” 

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GJ Reynolds also known as “G” is a Passionate, Playful & Powerful Warrior Entrepreneur, Author, and Life Transformer. He is also a Visalus Founding Promoter, Ambassador, Co-Founder of the Body By Vi 90 Day Challenge, business developer, coach, mentor, trainer, public speaker and radio host. He teaches others how to have fun reclaiming their Life, Health & Prosperity! G is driven to assist others to reach their full potential and having their magnificence to shine. He loves to teach and work with like-minded entrepreneurs and professionals who choose to reclaim their personal power and transform their life, health and prosperity. He lives a life of purpose, on purpose and for purpose. He enjoys the process of his personal, spiritual, and professional journey, while assisting others to do the same. G is at his best when he is learning, teaching, inspiring, creating, organizing, and leading the way! He also enjoys communicating with others that are of like mind and is on a mission to assist millions of people to transform their lives! Need a little help?

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